Ideas to Stop the Imperialistic West
ARUNDHATI PAUL
The Boxer Rebellion committee
convened to discuss the rising threats of the imperial West and how to possibly
resist it. Throughout the meeting, the brilliant minds came up with clever
ideas that the West surely would never see coming. Consort Zhen, a mild
modernist, stated, “We want the imperialists out of China to show imperialistic
countries that we are an army of spirit soldiers and that we fly.” Consort
Zhen’s fellow members were excited by this idea. Who doesn’t want to be a
spirit soldier with wings?
Perhaps the best idea of the
evening came from Prince Duan, one of the leaders of the Boxer Rebellion. After
many fruitless plans, the Prince pulled out a map of Manchuria and exclaimed,
“Prince Duan has a plan. There is great stress among the imperialist nations,
specifically Russia and Japan, and they both have allies. If we started an
international incident, this could lead to war, and the international community
would forget about China for the moment.” When asked what Manchuria had to do
with his phenomenal plan, the Prince shrugged his shoulders and merely waved
his map to seem impressive. The committee buzzed with excitement with the plan
of possibly initiating World War I, because that would surely fix the problem
at hand.
Later in the evening, while
taking a break from the ideas being put on the table, the chair urged delegates
to speak more because he himself had become a great public speaker through
practice and therapy. This advice seemed to comfort the delegates who had
previously resorted to staring at their laps throughout committee.
To conclude the events of the
evening, Li Hongzhang, a diplomat and military figure, created a diversion
using his great experience of military strategy, spilling water all over the
table. Proud of his accomplishment, he happily posed for pictures and asked the
most pressing question of the night, “Is there any way to fix the water to ice
ratio in the pitchers?"
No comments:
Post a Comment