Saturday, February 8, 2014

Jessica Li for The Onion

FIFA Congress United by Human Rights Violations and Comic Sans
JESSICA LI


As the workers in Brazil continue to devotedly work on construction for this year’s World Cup, the FIFA Congress at JHUMUNC continues to ardently disagree about what issues should be addressed. The session seemed to start off well, with a unified vote to not discuss glaring human rights violations in Brazil. However, after this initial moment of agreement, debate turned scattered and incoherent as delegates proceeded to argue about which problems were most important and which were most avoidable. Many potential topics were brought up and shot down with dizzying speed, and progress halted to a stop. All hope is not lost, though. By far the most productive action taken during this first session was the near-unanimous vote to change the Speaker’s List font from the traditional Times New Roman to the hip and swaggy Comic Sans. This may be heralded as a sign that the members of FIFA Congress are finally ready to embrace change and cooperation. Not all delegates are so keen on moving forward, though. The delegate from Mexico expressed that discussion still appeared to be going in circles, while the delegate from South Africa encouraged his peers to “focus on what Brazil already has.” Indeed, Brazil does have many valuable resources that other countries do not, which could be used to their advantage in preparing for the games. One promising idea was to enlist the powerful Brazilian drug cartels to assist in transporting and directing tourists. This would certainly be more feasible than the ridiculous proposal to develop an entire new fleet of buses for the same purpose, and this type of resourceful thinking is exactly what FIFA needs in order to succeed. If discussion continues in this direction, we may actually see the FIFA Congress accomplish something.


No comments:

Post a Comment